Friday, April 24, 2009

A week of holidays

Well folks did you happen to celebrate any of the following holidays this week?

*National Doctors appreciation week
*National Sexual Assualt awareness week
*Administrative Professionals day
*Holocaust Remembrance day
*Earth Day
*Take Your Child to Work day
*Arbor day
*Queen Elizabeth's birthday
*ANZAC day (tomorrow)

Yeah I didn't either. I would like to celebrate Arbor day. but the trees I want are all in the $100+ range and I just can't justify that right now. Although all this rain has probably softened up the soil for digging that hole for the rootball of a new tree.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Losing my temper, or, Confessions of an ugly neighbor

I should have sat down and read this early today, it may have saved a lot of hurt feelings.

Improving your mood

As some of you may know, Mike has opened another hernia and my brother Dave has a basal skin carcinoma around his eye. This morning my truck died on me at the greenhouse. So add sick loved ones and a schziophrenic vehicle on the pile of daily stress (work, cleaning, shopping, friends, family, etc.) that we (women in general) get to carry around on our shoulders. And I let my annoyances and anger get the best of me.

I spent all morning working on my flowerbeds and lawn, re-seeding grass in the dead spots, water, treated the doggie burn areas, etc. We went out to do some other things and came back home late in the afternoon. I cleaned up and was going to meet my brother and friend and another friend I haven't seen in a really long time. The dogs needed a potty break before I could leave. We walked outside and there were some young neighbor girls (I think they are between the ages of 3 and 8) in my flowerbeds about to pick my daffodils.

*temper rose* *temper checked*

I was annoyed to find them there but I pushed that aside. They asked if they could pick my flowers. I said a very firm "NO" for the following reasons...

*I work really hard to make my flowerbeds and yard and don't want it ripped up.
*I want the flowers to stay there so everyone can enjoy them and hopefully inspire others in our seedy little neighborhood to work hard at improving their homes. (geez I get so self-righteous sometimes)
*Bulb flowers need their flowers and leaves and stems to stay on the plant as long as possible to absorb sunlight so they grow back healthy the next year and I'd already cut some and wanted to leave the rest.
*I didn't have time to stop and cut a flower for each girl because I was in a hurry to leave.

*temper rose* *I let it keep on rising*

I came home later and as I was driving up the road saw 4 or 5 of my daffodils strewn about the common areas. I parked in the driveway and yelled "Those little BRATS!" with indignation. I ran around front to see about 6 tulip plants, buds and all trampled and several of my daffodil plants laid flat. They hadn't pick them all but I was PISSED. Did I stop to think "They are little kids, this stuff happens, they'll grow back"...No. Did I stop to think "Its only plants, being on good terms with neighbors matters more"...No.

Some of you may think "well with all the other things that happen in that neighborhood I can't blame you for getting mad, just one more drop in the bucket", and you'd be partially right.

I picked up the crushed flowers and stormed to the first little girls answer. Then I hear little voices through the window of the home of the second little girls "uh-ooooh its the flower lady". I walked over to that house, took a deep breath and told myself "don't scream" and rang the doorbell. All the little girls answered the door looking sheepish, I held up the flowers and asked them if they did this after I specifically asked them not too..."Uh-huh", then a quick recant ", no wasn't us" *heads hung down, hands behind backs. I gave them a stern talking too and asked them to not play on my lawn or touch my plants and that it was wrong for them to do so when I asked them not too.

You should have heard me being all Cranky Old Lady with a Twist in her is embarassing to me now. I asked to see their mothers, "Uh mom's busy". I asked where they were "Out back". I stormed around the side of the house, SHAKING with anger, I totally gave in to something that I just should have dropped. The adults were in the garage barbecuing, smoking, and drinking with a big group of friends. I launched into the whole spiel about the flowers and got all zealous about being a permanent home owner and having to live here with the damage they cause even after they moved out and how I'm trying to make this a nice place to live *Said the hypocrite busy making all the neighbors want to move with her speech*

The dad of one little girl said he already bawled the girls out for it...and these are the neighbors that SCREAM at their kids.

*guilt creeps in that I was the cause of these kids getting yelled at even MORE than they already do*

I told them I appreciated that and could they PLEASE teach their kids to respect others properties and how I was really tired of cleaning up garbage and repairing damage and "Don't Let it happen again".

MONSTER STERN B**** said a curt "thank you" to the chastised assembly and stormed off. On my way back home I finally lost it and let the following CLASSY item slip just loud enough for them to hear...

"F***ing Whitetrash Renters"

*Insert immediate horror on my behalf*

It was a crass move and a complete lack of decorum on my behalf. I walked in the house and started bawling. "I want to move" I said, "Let's live in my parents' basement" I cried, "Can't we burn the house down and go live on a beach somewhere" I whined. Mike hugged me and I walked up stairs feeling still annoyed at what had happened and now sad and angry at myself for being such a miser and a jerk. Just because I don't agree with their life-style or parenting or whatever, doesn't give me the right to lecture them and demean them.

As I walked past the windows I saw the parents of the girls and the girls walking up to our house "I can't handle this" said the selfish judgemental lady hiding like a coward. The bell rings and the dogs bark and I feel like and major loser hiding from small children who have come to apologize.

I hold the dogs and open the door. The little girls apologize first and offer to do chores to make up for it, then the parents apologize and offer to pay for the damaged plants

*heart drops into stomach* *jerkface crochety loser anger neighbor lady cries a little*

I accepted their apology and and then apologized for getting angry and for being a jerk about it. I told them next time that I would cut some flowers for them to take home and put in a jar if they asked and that I promised not to get so mad. The kids felt bad and it showed.

So now I've apologized, but I can't unsay the things I said and I can't take away the bad feelings.

*********************The Heel still feels like a Heel*******************

So is there anyway to undo the hurt feelings and be a good neighbor, or do you think the damage is permanent. What the heck is wrong with me? *sigh* I don't want to be the ornery old lady who chases kids away with a broom. Hoping this public self-flaggelation will imprint the importance of not losing my temper, forgiveness, being non-judgemental, and trying to be a good neighbor on me. Hope it sticks.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

If you are pregnant or already have a baby you might want to check out this factory sale. Get there early on the first day because these sales are REALLY popular.