Took the wounded car to the tire doctor. Tire doctor looked skeptical but tried to stop the bleeding. Then he came out and told me the rims are corroding and eating through the tires and that I should replace rims and tires. Basically the diagnosis was terminal rim/tire cancer, prognosis was, to quote Aaron from Fast N' Loud: no bueno.
I explained that A) it isn't my car, B) I can't afford new rims and tires, C) I really just needed the flat fixed so I could get back work, k, thanx, bye, and D) SAFETY IS FOR SISSIES! Just kidding that last one I only said in my head. Kids: don't listen to me, safety is cool, and I never want to hear you yell "FROM YOU DAD, I learned it from watching you!" Except you'd probably insert my name where DAD goes in that sentence. Why am I even explaining this to you, most of you aren't old enough to remember that commercial anyway. Moving on...
He looked really worried and said he ALMOST didn't feel comfortable letting me leave tire hospital without at least a full new set of tires. Then he handed me the estimate for a full set of tires and I couldn't decide whether to laugh, cry, or choke him. He emphasized again that it really wasn't safe to drive on the tires.
I smiled, folded up the estimate and thanked him for fixing the flat and told him that I was OK with tires because "I like to live dangerously", in my head I was laughing hysterically but I thought I should keep that inside as well because tire doctor already looked more than a little unsettled. Then I took my keys and left.
Some times I ALMOST feel bad for the normal people who are forced to have contact with me, almost.
PS - Rob, apparently "ghost in the electrical system" is a real term, although when the mechanic said it I looked at him and said "What does that even mean? Like, is there a dead guy riding shotgun with me? Should I be freaked out right now?", he just sighed and walked away.
PPS - Does anyone know if it would be possible to swap the wheels of the Chrysler with the wheels of the Lumina? As far as I know the Lumina wheels don't have cancer and at least 2 of the tires are new and non life threatening.