Friday, November 30, 2012

Jack's is open!

Jack's Wood-Fired Oven is done with their remodel and are officially open for business again!  Stop by and see their newly expanded space, grab some amazing pizza, and just relax.  They are open for lunch from 11am to 2pm and for dinner from 4pm to 10pm.  You can find them on facebook of on their website here:

Movember Party

*Stolen from the Herm's Inn facebook page*

As November comes to a close, so to does Movember.  To celebrate, Herm's Inn is having an End of Movember party at the restaurant tonight for team Cache Stache.  All team members who raised at least $10 get in for free!   For more about the team go here:

But despair not my stache-less friends, everyone is invited!  The price of admission for us less hirsute folks without mad fundraising skills is $5.  There will be pizza, soda, and of course mustaches galore.  Remember this is a fundraiser to help fight cancer.

Party runs from 6pm to 8pm.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Say What?!?

File this one under "Phrases NOT to start a sentence with" or "How to give me a heart attack" or "What NOT to do after a c-spine/head injury" or maybe "They just don't make a greeting card for that"

I was at my oldest sister's house yesterday and she starts out a conversation with "Did I tell you that J broke his neck".  J is my oldest nephew, he's almost 22 and I have loved him almost like he was my own since the day he was born.

So understandably my heart skips a beat and I do an almost cartoonish double take like  WHAAAA?!?  It took me a minute to realize that there had to be more to the story since my sister (who is like supermom of the year straight for the last 22 years) and 3 of her other kids were all casually hanging out in their kitchen making turkey enchiladas (which looked delicious, but I digress).

Obviously he wasn't paralyzed in a hospital bed or we'd probably all be at the hospital at that moment...unless they forget to tell me which happens, in that case I would like to restate "I HATE YOU ALL!" (it wouldn't be the first time this week I would have said that).  She explained that he'd been on a double date a few weeks ago and the other couple wanted to go to the new trampoline park.

*side bar: yes in case you live under a rock this is a place where kids or adults can pay to go bounce around and hurt enjoy themselves while trying to satisfying the need to feel like an Olympic gymnast without the years of training.  It is a real thing.  No really, I'm not making it up.  Seriously, stop looking at me like that, it hurts that you don't trust me after all this time.*

The guy from the other couple was showing off and doing all kinds of crazy tricks, so J wanted to show off a little too.  The trampoline place has a pit.  In case you never took gymnastics a pit is, surprisingly enough folks, a big pit (duh!) filled with foam blocks that you can do tricks into without needing a spotter.  It's "safe", ish, sort of.  J tried to do a gainer into the pit.  If you don't know what a gainer or a pit is, watch this youtube video I found, it has both:

So after all that exposition overkill (get used to it now) I'll get back to our regularly scheduled program.  J is a tall guy and isn't exactly gymnastics material, sorry dude I know the truth hurts but someone had to tell you.  He either didn't complete the gainer or way over rotated and somehow landed in the pit head first.  And he kept complaining that his neck hurt...

...and kept hurting...

...and he kept getting headaches...

Here's the scary part, he had broken one of his cervical vertebrae and didn't know it.  He tried most of the remedies he could think of, up to and including (this part make me sick to my stomach when I think about it) GOING TO THE CHIROPRACTOR!

Most of you are probably thinking "Why didn't he go to the doctor/instacare clinic/ER?", great, there you go asking more questions that lead to more boring exposition.  I'll tell you why dear readers, my sister and I and our siblings were raised by a mother who while an amazing woman had a tendency to tell us to shake things off, I heard "don't be such a pantywaste" (sp?) more times than I care to admit.  She firmly believed in the power of our "hearty pioneer stock" genetics, and for the most part she was right.  To this day I can't go to the doctor for a cold/flu/sprain/cut/abrasion/etc well that and needles freak me the heck out.  You should have seen me when I sliced my thumb open, I was a HUGE frickin' baby about the whole thing and at one point begged my ex-husband to just let me super glue it shut instead of going to the doctor.  Sorry about the tangents, I am my own story pirate, you should be used to this by now.

If you didn't think having a chiropractor do adjustments on a broken neck was bad enough, well then how about playing football on Thanksgiving with a broken neck?  Photographic evidence of our stupidity:

This kid is lucky, like a 4 leaf clover, horseshoe, rabbit foot milkshake of lucky.  Thanksgiving evening he developed a massive migraine and started experiencing numbness in his arm and hand.  He had finally had enough and went to the doctor.  He got x-rays.  He got someone to look at the x-rays.  Then that person told him about his broken vertebrae and ordered him to wear a hideously uncomfortable neck brace.  You know so he doesn't accidentally paralyze himself by sneezing or checking his blind spot, no biggie.  *sigh/headshake*

After I got over my initial shock I decided to get him a card.  Apparently Hallmark doesn't make "I'm sorry you broke your neck, but hey look on the bright side at least that brace makes you look (even) taller" or "I'm glad you didn't paralyze yourself by playing football with a broken neck" cards.  I know right?  I couldn't believe it either.  Thanks for being super insensitive to people with broken necks Hallmark.

So I'm just going to make my own digital "I'm glad you're not FREAKING PARALYZED and don't ever scare me like that again and seriously get new friends who don't take you to the death trampoline park, love your crazy aunt Suz" card.  Here are a bunch of photos J probably wish I'd lost, embarrassing you publicly is just my messed up way of saying I love you, because you know we're all a little emotionally backwards in our family and heaven forbid we say the words out loud.

J looks paralyzed in this photo but that's because he's asleep, and also a baby, they sort of have that no bones jelly-ish look first couple of months.

4 Random Unrelated Questions

Does anyone in Cache Valley know where I can get a high test gasoline that doesn't have any ethanol in it?  I've stopped at 5 stations this week and all of them had the ethanol stickers on the pumps.  The '72 Mercedes 450 SL is surging more than ever and based on the suggestions of my sainted and long suffering mechanic I want to run the crap gasoline out of it and fill the tank with a high blend ethanol-free gas and see if that helps.

I really need to get a new battery for the Chrysler and have my mechanic check the electrical, and get it in better shape before it starts snowing again.  Between the day job, my lovely massage clients (really I love you gals), I never have time to get this stuff done during the work week and since I do my cleaning job on Saturday I want to spend the rest of the weekend vegging.  The older I get the less and less attractive a 50 or 60 hour work week seems and the more I miss silly things like my bed, sunshine, and hobbies.

I suggested to Russ (my patient if carmaggedon weary mechanic) that I should just pay him to teach a class called cars for dummies and I'd be his first pupil.  The look on his face was a mixture of pity and something else I couldn't put my finger, probably horror at the thought of me in his shop doing anything other than standing off to the side playing with his wife's dogs.

I don't have any massage clients tomorrow after my day job.  I wanted to go up to the university and hit up all 3 art sales (printmaking, photo, and ceramics), does anyone want to go with me or meet me there?  I'll probably leave straight from work, anytime after 6ish, since I'll already been on the hill.  Even if you don't want to buy anything it is like hitting up 3 free art shows.  I promise I won't judge since I'm pretty broke myself and never turn down free entertainment that doesn't involve rolling hobos for quarters.

Any suggestions getting Molly The Wonder Dog's nails clipped?  I cut having her groomed out of the budget and have been trying to do it at home and they are ridiculously long and she's way too strong for me.  I've tried using one of those dremel like tools on her and she freaked out so bad she wouldn't let me touch her for 2 days.  I can usually get 2 or 3 nails done with the regular clippers before she let's me know she's had enough of my shenanigans   It was easier to make a stranger be the bad guy, and it sounds ridiculous but I don't want to alienate her because she's kind of the only person I want to talk to for hours or days at a time.  Oh geez, I just realized how crazy that sounds, but true is true...most days I prefer horses and dogs to people.

Does albuterol make anyone else's stomach churn for an hour or two after a run?  I've been using it for a couple weeks now and it is improving my runs (gee a whole mile without stopping because I feel like I'm going to suffocate), it wasn't the magic bullet I hoped it was (my lungs still give out before my legs do) but I have noticed a difference.  The downside is I used to eat after running because if I ate before exercising I'd yak during the run, but now if I look at food after a workout it makes me want to throw up.

Meet My Facebook Friends...

...they're kind of super awesome.  This is my post from Facebook last night, and their responses.
I need a personal shopper with a lot of confidence to go to the store for me. I kind of feel judged by the teenage check out girl when the only things I put on the belt are nutella, dill pickles, cheese, and hair dye. My ego can't take any more weird looks, I could almost hear her mind wondering what sort of strange evening awaited me at home. Either that or she was profoundly bored and was thinking about Justin Bieber or whoever the kids scream at these days.·

  • Suzanne  Either that or she was horrified of a vision of herself in 15 years on the other side of the checkout stand, hard to tell.

  • Keri-Anne lol! make it a game

  • Suzanne  I guess I could have really blown her mind and come up to the register with a can of whipped cream and a box of condoms...this is sheltered old Logan after all. But that would have been a waste of a box of condoms.

  • Keri-Anne  psh whatever, dont they make the best balloons ;)

  • Matt  Pregnancy test and a wire coat hanger is a classic.

  • Rebecca  I love it! The post and the shopping list.

  • Cordelia Duct tape, rope, razor blades, lighter, cigarettes. Wear sunglasses, gloves and a hoodie. Don't talk, don't smile, maintain poker face. Pay in cash. As you're leaving, look into the security camera and smile.

  • Suzanne Cordie all that is missing from your list is a car battery, a tiny set of jumper cables, and a large plastic sheet.

  • Sandee theyre jealous lol

  • Cordelia Well, jeeze Suzanne, I didn't want to give away ALL of my secrets!

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Combating the proliferation of holiday music

I've come up with a totally mature way of dealing with the aural assault that has become 24/7 Christmas music.  From now on when I hear Christmas music I'm just going to stick my fingers in my ears and sing the Log Song.  If you don't know what the Log Song is then you probably haven't watched enough Ren & Stimpy.  For the R&S deprived, watch this.

My method is flawless because I won't be able to hear the hideous Christmas pop songs and everyone around me will have the pleasure of hearing my rendition of Log Song, basically it's a win-win situation, or to quote the song "it's better than bad, it's good!".  Although I may have to invest in earmuffs for work but I'm not sure how I'm supposed to type with my fingers in my ears.  I guess I could always become the world's first elbow typing prodigy.

Chinchilla Names - Take 7

Today they are known as Honey & Badger, and they just don't care.

Well when you put it that way...

...I have a lot more to be thankful about than I thought.

*Stolen from Patience*

Good Times

While I was driving home on my lunch break I passed a little red Honda Prelude, the version with the pop up headlights and the sunroof, it was exactly like one my father used to own.  I did a double take when I spotted it because I don't see many of them around these days. 

In case you don't know what I'm talking about, here is a photo of one that I found on Craig's List

The thing was kind of a death trap, but it was a lot of fun to drive and in all fairness it wasn't quite as dangerous as the kit car he built (I still refuse to drive that thing).

Seeing it reminded me of dragging main street in that car with my friends when I was in high school.  It also reminded me of sneaking out late at night on the first snowy evening of the season (before dad had a chance put on the studded snow tires) and spinning donuts in the church parking lot.

I've been smiling for an hour and a half straight now, good times y'all.

USU Art Sales

This weekend 3 2 different groups in the visual arts department at USU will be holding holiday art sales.  This is a good opportunity to pick up some unique and affordable art and show your support of our Aggies, because hey it isn't just our football team that's awesome this year.

The USU Photo Guild is holding their first annual holiday print sale Friday November 30th and Saturday December 1st.  They will be in the Taggart Student Center on the second floor across from the ballroom.  Original artwork can be purchased from 12pm to 6pm on both days.  They will also have a photo booth and free hot chocolate 

The printmaking holiday sale will take place in the printmaking studio (FAV 106).  This is the information on the sale, straight from the organizer:  The sale includes hand-pulled original works of art by undergraduate, graduate, and faculty.  There will be prints, t-shirts, bags, cards, and other misc. items for sale.  The majority of the sales goes back to the artists, but a percentage goes to the printmaking guild.  This money gets used for visiting artists and finical help for students to attend the annual printmaking conference.  The sale will run Thursday ,November 29th from 5pm to 9pm, as well as Fridaym November 30th from 10am to 8pm.

The Ceramics Guild will be hosting their sale in the ceramics studio the FAV section of the Chase Fine Arts Studio.  The sale begins Thursday, November 29th and runs from 4pm to 9pm then continues on Fridaym November 30th and Saturday, December 1st from 10am to 8pm both days.  For more information contact Caitlyn at 

Updated: the person I spoke to in the office of the art department at USU gave me the wrong information about the ceramics sale, it is next week.

When in doubt, cook.

Since I had no massage clients scheduled last night, I decided a little kitchen therapy was in order.  So I got home and changed out of my work clothes and into my comfy clothes and got busy.  Cooking music provided by the Ramones, the Clash, Joan Jett, Social D, the Kinks, and Cowboy Mouth.  Recipe was onion soup les halles.

That's right, all this awesomeness belongs to me.
The result: I relieved my stress by slicing about a million onions AND now I have a kick-ass lunch for the next few days.   Trust me third degree burns from melted Gruyere aren't fun but they are so worth it.  Feel free to hate me now because this tastes of pure awesomeness.  Although the downside is that my house now smells like bacon and caramelized onions, but at least my fridge has something other than beverages and condiments in it now.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Theme Song

Well it's official "Ghosts That We Knew" by Mumford & Sons has been replaced in my mental loops with this...

...this is now my official theme song until further notice.

Adventures with tires

Took the wounded car to the tire doctor.  Tire doctor looked skeptical but tried to stop the bleeding.  Then he came out and told me the rims are corroding and eating through the tires and that I should replace rims and tires.  Basically the diagnosis was terminal rim/tire cancer, prognosis was, to quote Aaron from Fast N' Loud: no bueno.

I explained that A) it isn't my car, B) I can't afford new rims and tires, C) I really just needed the flat fixed so I could get back work, k, thanx, bye, and D) SAFETY IS FOR SISSIES!  Just kidding that last one I only said in my head.  Kids: don't listen to me, safety is cool, and I never want to hear you yell "FROM YOU DAD, I learned it from watching you!"  Except you'd probably insert my name where DAD goes in that sentence.  Why am I even explaining this to you, most of you aren't old enough to remember that commercial anyway.  Moving on...

He looked really worried and said he ALMOST didn't feel comfortable letting me leave tire hospital without at least a full new set of tires.  Then he handed me the estimate for a full set of tires and I couldn't decide whether to laugh, cry, or choke him.  He emphasized again that it really wasn't safe to drive on the tires.

I smiled, folded up the estimate and thanked him for fixing the flat and told him that I was OK with tires because "I like to live dangerously", in my head I was laughing hysterically but I thought I should keep that inside as well because tire doctor already looked more than a little unsettled.  Then I took my keys and left.

Some times I ALMOST feel bad for the normal people who are forced to have contact with me, almost.

PS - Rob, apparently "ghost in the electrical system" is a real term, although when the mechanic said it I looked at him and said "What does that even mean?  Like, is there a dead guy riding shotgun with me?  Should I be freaked out right now?", he just sighed and walked away.

PPS - Does anyone know if it would be possible to swap the wheels of the Chrysler with the wheels of the  Lumina?  As far as I know the Lumina wheels don't have cancer and at least 2 of the tires are new and non life threatening.

Just call me the car undertaker

My favorite Hallmark Fresh Ink card...touché Hallmark, touché.
I quit, I'm done, I should never touch another motor vehicle as long as I live.  Not only did I inherit my father's atrocious death-defying creative driving skills, every car I drive seems to want to commit suicide on me.  First my beloved truck died and I had to buy Peri the (now) perished, now my loaners seem to be chronically depressed.

First the '71 Mercedes 450SL had issues, now the 2000 Chrysler LHS has battery issues and a flat tire.  I think the cars know my history and are doing this on purpose to save themselves from my horrifying terrible creative driving.

Going through 3 cars in 2 weeks is a new low, even for me, this is getting absurd.  Given my sordid terrifying complicated past with vehicles (in my defense the suburban was totally NOT my fault, that steer had it coming and it would have never happened if it had listened to its mother and not played in the road), I should just start walking everywhere.  I'd take the bus, but it takes me 45 minutes to get to work riding the bus while walking only takes about 30 minutes.

As I sat freezing on the curb this morning waiting for my friend to pick me up and take me to work, I began to think maybe my mother was right.  A horrifying thing for any woman to admit, I know.  She always wanted a plumber, electrician, and/or mechanic in the family.  I should probably just start hitting up every garage in town for dates.  Because at the rate I'm going I either need to join an Amish community or marry a mechanic and the Amish are a bit thin on the ground in these parts.

In other news, anyone want to by a '97 Chevy Lumina to use as a demolition derby car?  It still runs well enough for a derby, it just isn't safe for the road.  I'll give you a good deal, cause let's face it I'm just going to blow the proceeds on cake, it's been that kind of week/month/year.

Friday, November 23, 2012

New Year's Resolution

OK if you think it is still too early to be listening to Christmas music then you'll definitely think it is WAY too early to be making New Year's resolutions, so just skip this post...or pretend it is about unicorns, or apple pie, or kittens.

Let me preface this by saying, I think NYE resolutions are kind of pointless.  I also think NYE is amateur night and you couldn't pay me to go out and "party" on that night.  Been there, done that, have the social scars to prove it.  The whole holiday reeks of desperation, sort of like Valentines Day but without the wrist slittingly depressing emphasis on relationships.  I like to stay home with family and watch movies, eat good food, and just relax and have fun.

Several years ago, I'm not giving exact dates because I'm too brain dead to remember exact dates...besides this isn't history class so lay off...what was I saying?  Oh yeah, so several years ago I made a New Year's resolution to eat only at local establishments when I was here in the valley.  And I did it, I went a whole year without spending money at TGIMcfunday's mega corporation evil empire type restaurants.  It did annoy the heck out of several of my friends and family, but they've forgiven me, right guys?  Guys?  Uh, guys?

Um, moving on.  Cache Valley is receiving yet another chain restaurant (Buffalo Wild Wings is building on the pad that was vacated when Ruby Tuesday's tanked), and there are negotiations right now for a 5 Guys franchise as well, but that one isn't set in stone yet. 

I am getting sick of hearing people gush about chain restaurants.  Yes, they are good and consistent and have slick advertising to suck you in, I get it, heck I even eat at them sometimes.  That doesn't mean I have to join the chain cult.  These same people who are clamoring for a TGI Friday's, Applebee's, Marie Calendar's, and all other national establishments are usually the same people who give me a blank stare when I ask if they've been to Jack's, The Factory, or any of the local food trucks.  Heaven forbid I suggest meeting for lunch at Sweetly Divine, Pupuseria El Salvador, or Kamin Thai, because none of those restaurants have mozzarella sticks, chinese chicken salad, or fajitas.

This year my New Year's resolution will be to vote with my dollar by eating locally when I'm here in Cache Valley.  No homogenized chain restaurant fodder for me in 2013.  When I choose to part with my hard earned money, it will be at a homegrown Cache Valley original.  So if you ask me out on a date, be prepared to take me to a mom & pop restaurant.  If you are planning a meetup or party at a big franchise, please don't be offended if I come but don't order anything.

Eating local isn't hard and it isn't restrictive.  Cache Valley has amazing and unique eateries from Hyrum to Lewiston.  You could eat out once a week at a local spot and not repeat restaurants for the whole year.  I don't personally know a single person who has eaten at every local spot in the valley.  Heck even I haven't made it to all of them, I still need to visit Paco's and Mundo's before I can complete the list.  Don't forget that Jack's is almost done with their remodeling/expansion and will be opening soon (probably next week, but  don't trust me on that).  Also Savannah's BBQ is moving into the former Firehouse Pizza location in Providence and they are hard at work getting the building ready for opening.

The national chain restaurants won't be hurt by 1, 5, 10, or even 100 people taking this challenge, they won't even know you're gone.  But the local restaurants can survive and hopefully thrive if you do this.

So, one question remains: who's with me?

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving

To my American friends and family, I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving.  To my friends overseas, I hope you had a great Thursday.  I went to my parents home and ate turkey, ham, rotkohl, stuffing, mashed potatoes, salad, parker house rolls, corn, and pie...I may not feel hungry again until Sunday.  After lunch we played a little football, played some games, swam, and played a few more games.  There were still several board game battles being fought as I left a few hours ago.  Here is a glimpse into our little family celebration today.

I'm thankful for my humongous, crazy, talented, mixed up, generous, noisy, thoughtful, colorful, and totally awesome family.  I am truly blessed.  I am also thankful for Molly the wonder dog, even if she did get a little judgey on me when I came home with leftovers and didn't share with her.