Monday, January 14, 2013

Too Cold

Here in Northern Utah we suffer from what's known as Inversion.  If you don't know what it is, you can read about it here.  It basically means that after a storm when the clouds go away, the temperatures at ground level plummet and we get horrible smog/fog.  We are in the midst of an inversion right now and it is cold.  Like colder than a well digger's bum cold (not that I'd know from personal experience or anything, frankly I don't know any well digger's...or their bums).

Apparently today the Franklin County School district, just over the border in Idaho, cancelled school because it was too cold.  Not a snow day, a cold day.

It is so cold that at noon out in the full sunshine, my nostrils froze together when I took a deep breath through my nose.

It is so cold that the snow squeaks when you walk on it.  It sounds like rubbing two pieces of styrofoam together.

It is so cold that hats, scarves, gloves, and coats are necessities and not fashion accessories.  You can tell this because the colder it gets the thicker and uglier the winter wear gets.  When it is this cold people don't care how they look as long as they stay warm.

It was so cold that when Molly the wonder dog (I'd call her MWD but I'm afraid people would think I was talking about WMD, which she is sometimes, but that's a whole different story) woke me up so that I could take her out to go to the bathroom...she refused to go to the bathroom and bolted back into the house.   But then she just kept whining to go out again.  Finally I took her into the garage and laid down a few pee pads (leftover from when we had a puppy in the house) and let her go to town.  Let's just say that 3 puppy pee pads are no match for a full grown lab/black bear/chupacabra/whatever mutt dog like her.  I did finally get her to go to the bathroom outside on my lunch break just now, but she wasn't staying out to play in the snow like she usually wants to.

So, does anyone in a warm climate want to swap houses with me here in BEAUTIFUL *coughfreakingfreezingcough* Northern Utah, for a week or so?  My house has a small library, dog hair, internet service, dog hair, lovely artwork, dog hair, comfy bed, dog hair, massage therapy room, dog hair, and a fully stocked kitchen.  It even comes with Molly the wonder dog to sit in your lap, lick you awake at 5am, stick her cold wet nose on your bum when you're changing your clothes, trip you in the dark so you fall to your death down the stairs, keep you company.  Anybody?  Bueller?  Bueller?  COME ON PEOPLE!  House swaps are fun, haven't you seen The Holiday?  No I don't have Jude Law for a brother, and all of my brothers are married, but it could still be fun.

I guess it could be worse, I could be in Southern California where they are having a cold snap, or as we like to cal it here: a balmy spring like heat wave.

1 comment:

Pache said...

Ahh, the sound of snow when it is freaking cold out. I had forgotten about that. It is a wonderfully nostalgic thought here in the midst of a Palo Alto cold snap of 55. Thanks for reminding me.