Friday, March 29, 2013


So remember how I have no TV service and just the interwebz and books to keep me entertained?  Yeah, probably not a good idea.  I made this demotivational poster for my manager:

It's a joke people, calm down.  My manager is actually really patient and good to our department, in fact the term "long suffering" comes to mind and that's why this is funny.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Um, yeah

Finding a check in the mail: Great!

Finding out that check is for $1.00:  Priceless!

Was it really worth the man hours, check paper, printer ink, envelope, and stamp to send this to me?  Why didn't they just credit it back to my account?  This is not the first $1 check I've received, it probably won't be the last. 

Chinchilla Names - Take 17

Because it's Wednesday, because I've watched The Losers 3 times since Saturday, because I can...the chinchillas new names are: Legless Pooch and Headless Jensen.
  1. Gwynn & Cuibhan
  2. Leopold & Loeb
  3. Moto & Guzzi
  4. Lem & Phil
  5. Whip & Lash
  6. Chocolate Chip & Cookie Dough
  7. Honey & Badger
  8. Ebenezer & Jacob
  9. Pete & Repeat
  10. Grinch & Max
  11. LEGEN & DARY
  12. Yin & Yang
  13. Whipper & Snapper
  14. Crack & Head
  15. Scavenger & Hunt
  16. Johnny & Tarr
  17. Legless Pooch & Headless Jensen

Monday, March 25, 2013

I'm A Cut YOU!

I met my friend, the awesome Miss J., in the cafe at Hastings this last Saturday.  We sat and talked for a couple hours and were about ready to leave when we were accosted by an older gentleman in a bad toupee that was reminiscent of Andy Warhol..  He started talking and we couldn't get rid of him.  He was under the impression that he knew us but we did NOT know him.

He told us his name was DJ and that he performs 40 minute shows of Disney music for free...just in case we were interested...because he's retired and needs something to evidently he's taken up a hobby, torturing people with a synthesizer set to play Disney tunes.  He gave us cards, he did not go away.  We smiled and nodded and tried to be polite, and still he did not go away. Then he started singing Beatles songs as us and we tried to ignore him, and yet again he did not go away.

At one point I looked up and caught the eye of the barrista who seemed to be familiar with DJ.  She mouthed the words "I'M SOOOOO SORRY!" at me and rolled her eyes at the guy.  He was telling us how he was just a silly 65 year old guy but really felt like he was 40 and liked to get out and meet people and have a good time.  Then he pauses and asks...

"Would you girls like a grasshopper?"

Miss J and I exchange looks that telegraphed the message "What we would like, is for him to disappear." and then the barrista called out "It's not what you think it is!".  Well neither of us were sure what we thought he was offering us.  Honestly it could have been drugs, chocolate mint cookies, or actual insects for all we knew, but we didn't want whatever it was.

DJ reached into his pocket and pulled out these colorful plastic and metal things and held them out insisting "Go on, take one, every girl should have a knife.  There are a lot of weirdos out there, you need protection."  Uh, yeah, yeah we do.

We each took one of the knives hoping that he would leave.  When he wasn't making any moves towards the door we both grabbed our bags and started saying things like "Gotta run." "Look at the time." "Nice to meet you but we have a thing."  He finally left and we both walked to our cars a little paranoid making sure he didn't follow us.

I'm not afraid to tell you that he freaked me right the heck out.  I really, REALLY wanted to unleash my inner bitch and tell him to get lost but I have such a hard time being rude to people.  I would rather avoid confrontation and just smile and nod and edge slowly away...then run like hell when they look away.

When I saw his fist full of pocket knives the first thing that came into my head was a quote from The Losers: "It's like giving a handgun to a six year old, Wade, you don't know how it's gonna end, but you're pretty sure it's gonna make the papers"

My second thought was this, "Don't nobody else get crazy cause I will cut you!" :

And of course this gem:

I would have called for "SECK-CURE-A-TAY!" except Hastings doesn't really have I think I need this shirt to wear when I go back.  *sigh* How was your Saturday?

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Mother Of Invention

My mother *sigh*, what can I say about my mother?  She has this amaryllis, it was drooping, so instead of staking it, she miniblind stringed it.  Behold...

She's kind of funny like that.

Spring... such a tease.

Tulips are growing.
Herbs are trying to sprout through the snow
My trees are covered in buds
And the daffodil are poking up through the soil
If it would just stop snowing every time something tries to grow, we just might have a beautiful spring.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Conversation With My Mother

*phone rings*

Me: Hello?

Mom: Hi, this is your mother, I thought I'd let you know we're dying Easter eggs and having lunch at my house next Saturday, you're invited.  You know, just in case you might want to come, don't rearrange your schedule or anything, but we'd REALLY like to see you there.

Me: Uh huh, sounds goods, I'll be there, do you need me to br...

Mom: I thought we'd have you hide the eggs for J. and N. (my college age nephew and niece).

Me: Uh, probably not a good idea.

Mom: Why do you say that?

Me: I'm TOO good at hiding's kind of my super power.  Me hiding things that you want found again is a terrible idea.

Mom:  Oh don't be silly, it will be fun.

Me: Uh, mother, do you remember that big family trip to California to visit your sisters.  The one where I was maybe 7 or 8?  We were having a big party at Aunt G's house and while all the grown ups were talking and all the big kids were hanging out, I talked H. (my little sister) and K. (my cousin's daughter) into helping me hide all the balls from the croquet set in that big pile of sand they had sitting in the driveway?

Mom: *laughing* I'd completely forgotten that.  But you'll remember this time.

Me: Mother, mom, momma, how many of those croquet balls did we find before we drove back to Utah?

Mom: *silence* Um, I think maybe a couple.

Me: We found one, just one.  Remember those two vintage cookbooks we found at your house that belonged to Grandma H.?  You lent them to me and I said not to worry that I'd put them in a safe place where Molly couldn't get at them and where I'd remember to grab them and bring them home?  And they were never seen again?

Mom: Good point, you're fired from egg duty, please bring a salad.

Me: Ok, thanks, bye.

Friday, March 22, 2013

New Logan Restaurant

Logan is about to get yet another new restaurant.  This one is also yet another in a string of big box store chain restaurants.  HuHot Mongolian Grill will be opening in the Riverwoods Complex, just North of the new Firehouse Pizzeria location, on March 28th.  You can check them out and sign up for their loyalty rewards club at their website:

You know I'm a local, home grown restaurant advocate, but I also like to post what I can about all the dining options in the valley.  Since we don't currently have any where that offers Mongolian BBQ this should be a complimentary addition to the valley food scene.  I think their stiffest competition is probably going to be another chain restaurant like Noodles & Co.

If you try HuHot please let me know how your experience was.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Sheldon's Quest For World Domination

You may remember the Dr. Sheldon Cooper trophy from Pi day.  Well it seems like he has gone on a bit of a walk about.  I would like to state for the record that I did not see Sheldon removed from his place of honor on Jorge's desk, I did not touch or come in physical contact with him, I do not know where he is, and I have no idea who is currently in possession of Sheldon.

Despite popular opinion *coughJorgecough*, I have it on the highest authority that Sheldon was not actually kidnapped.  He merely enlisted the aid of a few passersby in aiding him in his escape attempt and clever ruse to make it look like a kidnapping.  Don't worry about Sheldon, he is off on an epic quest for world domination and this temporary displacement is necessary for him to hatch his brilliant plan.  He managed to smuggle me the following message for his cohorts, since I do not know who he is referring to I will post it here so they get the message:

"Dear minions,
You have my sincerest gratitude for your minor roles in aiding my subterfuge.  It is my highly educated opinion that our little charade has worked.  My captor believes that I have been kidnapped and am being held somewhere nearby, to which I must say...BAZINGA!  I am actually safely on my way to an undisclosed location for a little pre-world domination relaxation.  Don't worry, I learned my lesson from Bozeman, I am on my way to a place where I have little chance of running into any nefarious Bozites.  My destination is the perfect place to blend into a crowd, yet it is so lacking in true academic stimulation that I will have no problem focusing on my strategy for becoming humanity's new benevolent overlord.
Dr. Sheldon Cooper, MSc, PhD

PS - Please tell Meemaw not to worry, I remembered to pack my Flash pajamas and plenty of sunscreen."
I worry about Sheldon out there on his own, but I trust in his innate ability to make friends and influence people...ah who am I kidding I trust in his ability to baffle and alienate anyone and everyone he comes in contact with, so at least he'll have some peace and quiet to get his evil plot properly formulated.

Pi Day - Parts 2 and 3

Sorry, it's taken me a week to get around to posting the photos from the rest of Pi Day.  After work I attended a Pi Day party at the fabulous Miss H.'s home.  There were several people from my LDS ward there and I think every single person brought at least one food contribution, some more than one.  My favorite pie of the evening was the gourmet blueberry/goat cheese pie.  K.'s peach pie and Miss H.'s pizzas were tied for second place.  Everything tasted as good, and better, than it looked and I ate way more than I should have.  I had a food hangover the next day.

My pumpkin cream pies.
German pizza, almost as interesting as Irish pizza.

I could have eaten this whole thing by myself, it was that good.

Someone, who shall remain nameless, turned the photo tables on me and snapped this photo when I set my camera down so I could fix myself a plate.  I'm posting it, because turn about is fair play and I can take it as well as dish it out!  I don't know why I'm doing T-Rex hands, sorry, it looks kind of creepy.

After the pie party I headed to my sister's house and tried to pawn my leftover pie off on my niece and her brothers.  My niece was too busy learning Chinese on the computer to pay pie much heed, but her brothers tucked in and made me proud.

All in all it was a pretty good Thursday and a really good Pi Day.  Thanks to everyone who participated, both with making and eating the food.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Shimmering Sands Bellydance

Some of you may know that in another life I was a member of the USU Middle Eastern Dance Club.  USU MED has now moved off campus to their new home at the Whittier Center in Logan and become Shimmering Sands.  While I am no longer dancing with them, I am still a fan and try to make it to shows as often as I can.  I'm happy to say that they have 2 great evenings of entertainment coming up.

This Saturday, March 23rd, members of Shimmering Sands will be performing at the Indian Oven in downtown Logan.  You must make a reservation for 8pm, dancing begins at 8:30pm.  Call 435.787.1757 for more information or to reserve your table today.

Then on Friday, May 10th, Shimmering Sands Bellydance presents Sandstorm.  Buy your tickets now for their spring 2013 extravaganza featuring the Shimmering Sands performing troupes and students, as well as some of the best bellydancers in Utah, including special guest Michelle Sorensen.

There will be 2 workshops the following day, May 11th.   

Workshop 1 –11am – 1pm
Slow and Steady: Drills to Improve Control
This class will concentrate on technique for super slow and muscular dance movements to give you the control you’re looking for!
We will focus on drilling repetitive sequences to aid in muscle memory and then apply them in combination format for practice on using them in performance.

Workshop 2 - 2pm – 4pm
Triple Header: 3 Ways To Play
An introduction to musical interpretation and how to break it down. Come learn 3 different combinations to the same piece of music. We will discuss musical cues, counts, and emotional projections to help you get started on making a piece of music your own.

Special Early Bird pricing for both workshops $75.00 before April 1st.  For more information call 435.881.1486 or email shimmeringsandsbellydance [at] gmail [dot] com

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Chinchilla Names - Take 16

Today, because everyone's a little bit Irish, and because the chinchillas have been drinking at the water bottle like wee fiends, I am renaming them: Johnny and Tarr.  I really hope they don't follow in his sizeable footsteps.

  1. Gwynn & Cuibhan
  2. Leopold & Loeb
  3. Moto & Guzzi
  4. Lem & Phil
  5. Whip & Lash
  6. Chocolate Chip & Cookie Dough
  7. Honey & Badger
  8. Ebenezer & Jacob
  9. Pete & Repeat
  10. Grinch &; Max
  12. Yin & Yang
  13. Whipper & Snapper
  14. Crack & Head
  15. Scavenger & Hunt
  16. Johnny and Tarr.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Here's one of my favorite Gaelic Storm songs to help you celebrate:

This green eyed red haired girl (2 out of 3 ain't bad)

Friday, March 15, 2013

Pi Day - Part 1

At my day job I challenged my coworkers to our first ever Pi Day competition.  I was thinking this would be a friendly little food day, boy was I wrong.  It turned into a no holds barred scrum.  In hindsight I probably should have come up with a list of rules, but it was much more fun watching the contestants duke it out.  Think of a down and dirty high school student body election and you'll start to get the picture.  It was a tasty and entertaining day.

One of our valiant competitors, doubting her baking skills.
It was actually pretty tasty.
This pie was home decorated, but not homemade.  It also happened to be the first place winner.
Our second place winner, homemade chocolate cream pie.
The entries, ready for battle.
Nice try K.!
Peanut butter oatmeal whoopie pies, uh yeah they're that good.
Vote for Pedro, he'll make all your wildest dreams come true!
Our third place winner.
This contestant's husband bought this pie, decorated it at home and brought it to her to enter.  He gets the good husband of the month award.  It was a pretty tasty peanut butter pie too.
A late less than homemade entry but still delicious.
Let the voting (and campaigning) begin!
This competitor, let us call him "Jorge", decided to use the whole no-rules thing to his advantage.
"Jorge" actively NOT bribing people to vote for his pie.  Boss Tweed would be so proud.

Victim falling prey to "Jorge's" Machiavellian scheme.

One of the entrants, sizing up the competition.
The competitors were fierce.
One of the voters, resisting Jorge's attempts to sway her vote.
The voting slogan was "vote early, vote often", and we did.
Our third place winner.
Our second place winner.
First place winner proudly displaying the spoils of victory.  Dr. Sheldon Cooper couldn't be reached for comment as he has enrolled himself into the witness protection program after several kidnapping threats.

Name has been redacted to protect the innocent guilty.