Friday, August 30, 2013

Losing It

So I've spent the last 3 hours thinking that it was Wednesday and wondering why this week seemed to be dragging along so slowly.  Um, yeah, maybe because it's Friday.  When I was gainfully employed at my full time job (instead of just the 2 part time jobs which I am still doing) I used to wake up and think it was Friday, when instead it was only Tuesday or Wednesday.  Now the tables have turned.  It's only a matter of time before I start collecting cats and wearing kleenex boxes for shoes.

In other news I'm still car shopping and have decided I am not a shopper.  This is almost as painful as shopping for swimsuits or jeans.  I don't believe in financing vehicles and what's available in my price range is, well, shall we say "special"?  Since Phil the Cranberry Comet died I've been borrowing vehicles from my parents.  First was the lime green 1951 Willys jeep which needed to have the brakes worked on.  Then it was the 1972 Mercedes 450 convertible which would die every time you came to a full stop.  Then it was the jeep again, but it won't start when it is parked in the sun.  So now I'm driving a 1968 Chrysler Newport.

She doesn't like cold starts and has a broken gas gauge so I will have to fill her up once a week just to avoid running the tank dry.  It is so long that even with the front bumper barely touching the back wall of my house, the rear bumper still hangs over the edge of my driveway.  The good news is that I can take me and fifty of my friends anywhere we want to go.  The car does run very smooth and so far hasn't stranded me any where.  It has also increased my street cred.

The day I drove it home I had 2 different neighbors circling it and they both made me offers before I even got out of the car.  By the time I made it into my house one of them was up to $7,000, even though I kept insisting that A) It wasn't my car to sell and B) the owner didn't want to sell.  A little boy saw me in it at a parking lot the other day and as he dragged him mom over to look at it I heard him saying "Momma it's the BATMOBILE!".

Since then I've had a third man knock on my door and make an offer to buy it.  I told him the same thing I told the other two.  He asked if he could take it for a test drive and I told him no.  He then told me that it was a shame because "your ride is dope" and that he intended to "tweak the hell out of it" and make it "a sweet low riding bitch".  I did a lot of nodding and smiling but continued to defer his offer.  It only got creepy when he asked if I'd be hand washing it any time soon and could he come and watch.  Don't be jealous of my super glamorous life y'all.

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