Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Everyone Needs A Hobby

I enjoy freaking out my dog and my neighbors, and making my family question my mental health status, this is a fact of life.  No one debates this.  It's like saying the sky is blue, or clowns are creepy, or cats are taking over the world using the internet, it simply isn't debatable because it is scientific fact.

Last week my parents gave me a cedar blanket chest that had belonged to a woman who had lived with my grandmother when I was growing up.  If you want to get really technical previous owner of the chest was my great great grandmother's niece, so I think she's like my cousin 30 million times removed, but that's a story for another day.

Deathy McDaredevil and her husband (Mr. McDaredevil) and my nephew M came over to help me maneuver it up my stairs and place it in my bedroom.  And by help I mean the guys did all the heavy lifting and Deathy and I supervised.

Oh please, don't tell me you wouldn't climb in there just to see if you fit.
The chest has many things to recommend it, such as: it sort of matches the hodgepodge of furniture in my room, it still smells great (Does cedar ever stop smelling good? no, really, I'm asking a legitimate question here.), and it makes a nice little bench.

And then there's an added bonus that it is vaguely casket-like so when I kick it they can just squish me into it and plant me in the backyard to save on funeral costs.  We're a frugal bunch.  Don't look at me like that, it's not like I'm judging your funeral plans. 

As we were walking back downstairs I was silently contemplating my good fortune in scoring this piece of furniture with its coffin-esque functionality, when my sister pointed out the decorative carranca mask that hangs on the wall opposite my front door.  In a tone usually reserved for my misadventures with vehicles she asked...

"You have some nice art in your house, but this??"

Like you wouldn't sneak up to your neighbors window holding this thing.
I told her they were used by natives in Brazil to ward off evil spirits, but that it also worked fairly well on neighbors, door to door salesmen, and itinerant preachers to boot.  A raised eyebrow was her only response.  It's probably a good thing I didn't vocalize my thoughts about my new handy dandy cedar chest/coffin.

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