Sunday, February 23, 2014

Sunday Night Delight

I was getting ready to go to bed about an hour ago when my phone rang.  On the other end was a friend of mine who had taken her dog for a late night walk downtown.  Her route took her along main street and right by a building that I'm responsible for cleaning.  This is the conversation.

Her: "Um, you know that place you clean?"
Me: "Uh-huh, what about it?"
Her: "I hate to be the bearer of bad news but you might want to come down here."
Me: "Why?  Please don't tell me that someone has broken in."
Her: "Noooooo, not that, it's just, um..."
Me: "Yes?"
Her: "Someone's puked all down the front door and it smells really bad."
Me: "Awesome, thanks, talk to you later."

So I got dressed, pulled on some shoes and drove down to clean it up.  Who doesn't love having to leave their house on a Sunday night to go and clean up half masticated french fries in congealed orangish pink goo that some delightful stranger left for them?  Luckily for me it wasn't quite as bad as she'd made it out to be, but let's face it, it's vomit and it was disgusting. 

Exhibit A
Side note, one of the many reason I have not had a child of my own yet is that I'm one of those horribly selfish people who have no desire to clean up someone else's vomit on a fairly regular basis.  It makes me want to vomit and that is an ugly cycle you don't want to engage in. 

The point of this little story is that I want to publicly thank this random citizen for making my Sunday evening so wonderful.  You seriously couldn't have dodged a couple feet in the other direction to vomit into the tree grate on the other side of the sidewalk, where it would have been watered into the ground below?  Or even to the gutter on the street where the street cleaning machine would take care of it?  Nope, you had to vomit right by this door and I had to clean it up.

Exhibit B
The bodily fluid deposited here had dried enough that it was stuck to the brick and pavement.  I didn't have access to a spigot and hose, so I had to spray clorox cleaner on to it to loosen it up, then use a watering can filled with hot water to flush it out far enough so that I could sweep it to the tree grate with an old push broom.

It's not bad enough that I already work 6 days a week at several different jobs to make ends meet, but you have to make me work on the seventh as well, and doing something foul to boot.  There was no apology and no attempt to clean it up, you're a real gem.  Do remind me to add you to my Christmas card list.

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